Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I just couldn't resist

*Liberal buzzwords in parenthesis, italicized

The LA times, jealous they didn't break the Palin hacker story, blasts the blogosphere for not having "evidence." But How would the FBI, who traced his IP to a UT dorm through a proxy service, get a search warrant with no evidence? (Vetted.)

Dear Liberal Media: Your growing irrelevance in the eyes of Americans is evident by the fact that your readership is plummeting because you write stories about Obama at a ratio of 300:1, and half of you "journalists" have been fired because nobody wants to purchase and read your biased editorials that you pass off as news. (Gravitas.)

The same goes for your buddies in the entertainment industry. All those war movies that nobody wants to go see? Lions for Lambs? Redacted? Rendition? Box office flops. The Emmy's with all the cutesy political jokes? Lowest rated ever.

Who wants to pay to be abused?

Most of us bloggers are commentators. And as such, we don't have to censor ourselves. But, as we all knew it would, the story turned out to be true. You whine about how your professional journalistic integrity was compromised because, as is becoming more and more common, you got shown up by the unwashed masses of bitter clingers in flyover country with free blogger accounts. Maybe you media guys shouldn't have sat on a story because it would've been critical of a fellow liberal (we just can't have that.) The bloggers had no choice but to break this story, because we knew you (the media) wouldn't. Now all you are doing is calling us out for being right, because you are tied up in knots at your own inadequacy. (Nuance.)

Can someone please arrest the blogosphere and put them all away? Don't worry about gathering evidence or building a case, just lock them up and throw away the key — they'd do the same to you.

Can someone please arrest the liberal media? (Hope.)

Did it stop you from speculating, with no evidence, over Sarah Palin using her yahoo mail for state business? (False.) Firing some guy because he did her sister-in-law wrong? (False.) Having an affair? (False.) Speaking in tongues from the pulpit while invoking God as the reason we went to war? (False.) Or the comical SNL sketch insinuating Todd Palin has sex with his daughters? (Hey, maybe it's not false. It IS Alaska after all.) (Oversight.)

Not only is the liberal media jealous, but some of my readers are even having hissy fits. User Robert D. Nelson posts a very helpful rambling conspiracy theory about how Palin herself hacked into a state employee's email. But how can that be? I thought Palin was so so so stupid... stupid enough to pick a yahoo email, stupid enough to not have better hints to her password... How could she POSSIBLY be in charge of national security? She got hacked by a 20 year old! BUT she's smart enough to break into another employee's email. Thanks for all the helpful info, Robert D. Nelson. 9/11 was an inside job! It's Bush's War! Not in my name! When you leave, don't forget to take your tinfoil hat. (Regulation.)

Jordan asks, "What did you prove with this post? I mean besides what rubico already proved; that is: everything online can be accessed by anyone with a decent brain. Kudos to you for finding a facebook, a myspace, and a blog. All of which are designed to ALLOW people to find you." Oh really, Jordan? If it was so easy, then why didn't you find it and post it first? Because it's soooo difficult, or because you're an Obamacrat who didn't want to bother exposing a fellow liberal? Jordan's and other liberals issue is, I suspect, not the fact that it takes an unusual amount of intellect to gather public information - they are angry because we didn't sit back and let the liberal media break the story first so they could apply their usual spin to it. (Change.)

Face it media, you got punk'd by a bunch of bloggers! Eaux no! Foiled.