In the third paragraph, we finally figure out that this mysterious legislator is a "D-Memphis." Don't worry about David. After he gets one year probation, he will have many job offers.
I just couldn't resist
And the hacker is...
He was released without posting bond, but the court forbade him from owning a computer and limited his Internet use to checking e-mail and doing class work.
Eaux Neaux. Now he can't post anything thoughtful on 4chan!
Aww.. isn't he cute. Oh yeah, he's dating some girl from SC. I'm jeal.